When Darkness Turns to Light (Jean x Reader) pt 1

    The scene in front of the (h/c) haired girl was devastating. Her friends were being eaten alive. Their shrill screams and pleads could be heard all over. She seemed frozen, as if her legs couldn't work. Her leather jacket that bore the symbol of the trainees was drenched in her own blood. A severe wound on her arm was still pulsing blood. The rooftops around her were damaged and had severed limbs lying on them. She felt dizzy for a moment, but regained her composure. Four 7 meter class titans were all around her. The thought of being eaten by one, one of those things disturbed her. Tears started rushing from her (e/c) eyes. Everything she had trained for, everything she had prepared for had left her mind and replaced that knowledge with fear. The screams of the dying could still be hear over the thunderous footsteps of the titans. But one scream caught her attention. She listened closer, and it confirmed  one of her worst fears. Her breath hitched up and she started running towards the edge of the rooftop. Her emotions running all over the place.

    “I’m coming for you, Jean. I’m going to be the hero for once,” The girl whispered to herself, but her words were lost in the wind.

    (Y/n) didn't have a crush on the arrogant boy, she loved him with all of her heart. The very thought of him dying and her being unable to stop it was unbearable. The wind tossed around the girl’s (h/l) (h/c) locks. She flew gracefully threw the air, as if she was born to do this. As the seconds ticked by, memories flooded her mind. Memories of when she met Jean, when Wall Maria was breached by the Colossal Titan, the day she joined the military, up to the battle where her friends were dying all around her. Though no one technically talked to (Y/n), she considered every trainee her friend. The only people who understood her complex emotions were Marco and Jean. They had stuck together before their hellish lives in the military began. Marco was courteous and held a special place in her heart, but as a brother unlike Jean. He was arrogant and loud, but he saw through the facade (Y/n) always wore. She loved him wholeheartedly. But he was always oblivious to the girl’s advances. He seemed to mistake them for friendly gestures. And so he chased after the black-haired beauty Mikasa. It broke (y/n)’s heart, but she just smiled through the pain and pretended she didn't mind. She even supported Jean to keep on hoping for a happy ending with the seemingly cold and distant girl.

    She landed gracefully on a balcony as a titan hand reached for her form. Thankfully, the titan wasn't faster otherwise she would've been a goner. It swung its hand toward her again, but this time (Y/n) jumped up onto its outstretched arm and began running along it. She drew out her blades, ready to strike. She leaped up and slashed her weapons across the small area across the back of the neck. Blood seeped through and a chunk of the pale flesh flew through the air. She smirked, it didn't stand a chance. Though the titan was dead, she was still cautious of her surroundings. She leaped off the falling body and pulled the trigger to fire the cables that attached to the 3D maneuver gear. Once again, she was racing to make it to Jean before it was too late.

    “No! Please don’t!” a male voiced shouted.

    (Y/n) whipped her head around. She launched herself towards a nearby rooftop and skidded to a stop. Unfortunately, she landed on her wounded arm. A grimace made its way onto her face, but she didn't cry out. After mustering the strength to stand up, she started running in the direction where she heard Jean yell from. And for the third time today, she went searching for him. Buildings whizzed by as she dodged smaller titans. Willing herself to go faster, she threw herself higher into the sky and fired the trigger to release the hook that would help her keep gliding above the ground. As she rounded the corner, what (y/n) saw made her cry out. Jean was being held in the hand of a 7 meter class titan. He was squirming and struggling to break free, but it just wasn't enough. She pressed the trigger on her blade to make her go faster, so she could kill the monster before the unimaginable happened.

    “Jean! Hold on for just a moment longer! I’ll save you!” (y/n) shouted to the terrified boy.

    He stopped struggling for a moment and looked directly at his savior. She pulled out her two swords and latched both cables to the back of the titan’s neck. She swooped in for the strike and left a clean, long gash where she had been moments before. But life was cruel, because just as she killed it, her 3D maneuver gear ran out of gas. Her scream was lost was she hurtled toward the ground at an amazing speed. She reached out for anything that would stop her descent. But to no avail, she was in the middle of two buildings, each way out of her grasp. The view would've been beautiful if she were looking at it in a different perspective.

    (Y/n) braced for impact as she calculated that there would be unbearable pain in about 10 seconds. Her leather jacket had even more blood on it, as well as her left pant leg. The young girl closed her eyes, awaiting her untimely demise.

    Jean’s P.O.V.

    I watched as one of my best friends hurtled to her death. I tried wriggling out of the now dead titan’s grasp. But it had an iron grip and I knew I wouldn't arrive in time to save her. I finally gave up and reached for my blades. I grasped the hilt and poked it through one of the titan’s fingers. I then made a long, clean cut through fingers all around me. I gave a mental high-five myself, but it was a short lived celebration because just as I broke free and sheathed my blades, I heard (y/n) cry out in as I saw her land on the cobblestone path, her back arching as her face contorted with immense pain. I stared wide-eyed, unable to move. As I blinked several times, her loud, shrill cries broke me from my trance.

    I raced over, my boots making sounds as they made contact with the street. She was lying still, tears rushing down her face. Blood was soaking through her jacket. I hovered over her, trying to keep my composure. I couldn't stand to see the broken form of my best friend.

    “J-Jean, I there’s something that y-you need to hear before I die,” (y/n) said softly. I could tell she was trying to be strong. I nodded and I looked around us to make sure no titans were approaching us.

    “I-I know you’ll never feel the same way, considering the way you look at Mikasa, but I've meaning to tell you this. Jean Kirschtein, I love you. I've loved you since the beginning of training. Hell, I've loved you before this. I just didn't have the courage to tell you, and I chickened out. But I’m sure that because of being a coward, it saved me heartbreak in the long run. And I wanted you to know, that I love you wholeheartedly, without a doubt,” (y/n) whispered into my ear.

    She lifted herself just an inch off the ground, but that was high enough for her lips to brush against mine. She tasted of blood and sweat. My vision became blurred as I felt hot tears streaming down my bruised face. How could I have been so blind? We told each other everything. Or mostly everything. I confessed my love about Mikasa to her. And yet she didn't give up hope for a happy ending. Just as quickly as the kiss began, it ended. She breathed and lowered herself. I sat down and cradled her head in my arms for a moment.

     “A-At least I don’t have to bear the weight on unrequited love now. Just promise me that you won’t forget me when you go after Mikasa. I want to be remembered as more than a soldier that died in combat. I want to be known as the girl who died for her best friend, because she couldn't imagine a world without the person that meant everything to her,” she mumbled loud enough for me to hear.

Tears ran down my face as I choked back a sob. It couldn't believe one of my closest friends was dying right before my eyes, and there was nothing I could do about it. I averted my hazel eyes to the grey sky, which suited the mood. When I looked back, I saw that she was mouthing something to me. Goodbye, my love, were the words that she formed with her blood-red lips. As her last breath left her body, I let my tears flow freely. I would have to bear the weight of knowing that she loved me with every fiber of her being. And I’d never be able to tell her the truth about my feelings. The gleam in her (e/c) colored eyes faded until they were dull and glassy. I closed her eyes, so it would look like she would be in eternal sleep.

My sobbing seemed to never end, but in reality, I bet only five minutes have passed. I gently put down her head on the ground. I wiped the tears from my face before I picked up her body and held her body close to mine. The blood on her uniform didn't take away from her beauty, it only made her look like a fallen angel. I pressed the trigger on my blade so I could lift the both of us to the nearest rooftop. The 3D maneuver gear pulled us against the tug of gravity to safety. I landed as gently as possible, so I wouldn't drop (y/n). Her (h/l) (h/c) tresses were messy, due to the wind. I stroked her silky hair and nuzzled my face in it, so I could catch her scent one last time. Though my time of mourning was long gone, I still felt the need to cry. Either out of frustration or grief. Maybe even both. I kissed (y/n)’s forehead before I set down her broken body and took off to find Marco and tell him about her valiant death. Surely he’d want to know. They were like brother and sister.

Jean’s P.O.V.

    I couldn't believe I had lost the two people that were everything to me. Now, as they burn (y/n)’s and Marco’s bones, I can’t distinguish who was who. Maybe that’s a good thing. I never got the chance to tell Marco about (y/n). I bet they’re talking together right now, in some sort of afterlife. It’s either that or their very existence has been wiped from this cruel world. I’d prefer it if I can pretend that they’re conversing in some nonexistent world that only the dead see. The pain of knowing that both of them are gone overwhelms me. I’d never be able to share secrets with them or tell them jokes. But (y/n)’s death has had the biggest impact on me. No one knew who she was or paid attention to her because others always out-did her in every category. But in truth, she was a ray of sunshine in an endless gray sky. And one of the two people that cared about her was dead.

    “I’m sorry (y/n) and Marco. I should have saved you guys,” I whispered.

    I heard laughter and I looked up. Standing there was Marco and (y/n), unscathed. I widened my eyes and I started to shake. I knew this was only a hallucination, but it still gave the same comforting effect.

    “You’re not strong nor weak. You’re just able to read the situation and be ready to take the right course of action,” (y/n) grinned. Marco nodded and smiled as well. I blinked and they were gone.

    My expression hardened. I knew I wasn't meant to join the Military Police. I was supposed to join the Scouting Legion. The thought didn't occur to me that (y/n) didn't make it into one of the top 10 spots, but I guess I would've followed them wherever they went.

    ~~~

    The sun was shining down on the three walls. Two children were running all over the town in a game of tag. Pedestrians grumbled profanities as they ran into them, but didn't get a chance to yell at them for they moved swiftly among the crowd. The tallest of the pair, Jean, was running from the tagger who was (y/n). Even though he had longer legs, she was just as fast. The brown-haired boy ran into a quiet alleyway. (Y/n) had caught up to him, laughing as her (h/l) (h/c) hair flowed behind her. She tackled the taller boy and landed on top of him. He blushed a crimson red and the girl’s face flushed as well. She got up and brushed off her clothes and patted down her hair. She helped Jean up, his hand reluctantly grabbing hers. He dusted off his clothes as well. When he turned to face the girl, she stood up on her tip-toes and kissed his right cheek. His face was redder than a tomato. She giggled and ran off saying that he was it now. He touched the spot where her soft lips met his face. He stood there dumbfounded. Eventually, he ran after the young girl. Unsure of where she went, he started walking to her house.

    He was about to knock on the door when a high-pitched voice called out from behind him. Standing there was (y/n), hand in hand with a newcomer. She smiled and explained that the boy with the dark brown hair and freckles was Marco. She then happily exclaimed that they would be the best of friends. Marco smiled sheepishly at Jean, only to notice that his face was stone cold. He glared at Marco before he gave a weak smile. Jean felt a strange emotion, which he would eventually learn the name of it: jealousy. He had also felt love too. But he only dismissed it as possessiveness over a friend. And he would continue to do so for the next 6 years, up until the point of (y/n)’s death. That day, he realized he loved (y/n) all along. And when he knew it, he was too big of a coward to admit it, even when she was dying in his arms. In the end, (y/n) was the one who should have been recognized for her bravery, in more ways than one.